this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
