Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
