it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
