i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
