I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
