Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
