Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
