i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
