Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You were trust falling into bushes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
