Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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