Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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