i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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