it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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