I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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