your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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