I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize