Don't make out with my wife yet
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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