Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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