I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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