youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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