i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
