Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
