I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize