The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
