3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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