My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What did we do last night that was yellow?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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