I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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