Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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