question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
