You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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