I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
