This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
