what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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