I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
