great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my being single is dangerous.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
