is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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