I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
