Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
