Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
