I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
