mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
