if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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