you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
