But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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