i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
