do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
