Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
