yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
