xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize