the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
