Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
