I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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