i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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