I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
