So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
