"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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