Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize