Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
