I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
