They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
