I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize