Sry I called you an 8
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
