Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
