theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Randomize
